I laughed from my place on the curb. She scooped another plateful of veggie soup. ¨I mean, really,¨ she said. ¨I could do this every day.¨
¨Yeah…,¨ I began to say.
¨All day, every day, all the time,¨ she interrupted. Her face beamed with excitement. The others in the group had the same but more subtle enthusiasm. She came with a group of five gringos, including a local missionary, to feed the homeless with Darwin and me.
¨Yeah, it´s a pretty incredible,¨ I said. I could feel my face brighten. I saw the feeding through her eyes. I felt God in that moment. I didn´t quite realize it then. I could only feel contentment, but I couldn´t define it. I glanced around.
Darwin stood a few feet away, laughing, jumping around in the rain. Our homeless friends stood around us, some near Darwin, some near me. They stood under the cover of a balcony nearby. One called out to me, ¨Can I have some more?¨
¨Of course, come here,¨ I said. I waved him over to me.
But he didn´t come. He shook his head and pointed to the rain.
I laughed and rushed over to him, kidding him a long the way. ¨But it´s okay for me?¨ I said. Then, it came. The lump in my throat, that sickness in my stomach. The feeling I get when I instantly realize what I said was ridiculous. Even though he knew I was joking, it still seemed absurd, especially when I saw it through his eyes. I could go home and change my soaked through clothes and dry my wet hair.
He had to sleep in his.
We went to five places that night, as we have the last several feedings. Still, we ended up with leftover food. The rain hadn´t stopped. Few wanted to get soaked walking to meet us from whatever bridge or bench they usually slept beneath. It´s not a choice we have to make often–sleep wet for the night or go hungry another day.