1. “Wait…did I just call God stupid?” – Answering idiotic questions

I feel as if I’ve already experienced a lifetime of dumb questions (I can thank my parents for some of them, having named me, their daughter, Michael) in my brief 22 years.

Occasionally, it’s a brand new question. Often it’s one I’ve heard 4,598 times before. Other times a variation on an old classic. Nevertheless, they all carry the same classification: unreasonably dumb. And they all invoke the same thought in my mind: “How much trouble will I get into if I punch this guy?

I realize these situations aren’t unique to me. But I don’t know the dumb questions you’ve received. So, I’ll stick with mine. You can share your moments of joy in the comment section.

With this post, I begin a series of entries, “Did I just call God…?” Each telling a story of when some individual opened their beak and out came nothing but a squawk. The kind that makes me wish I hunted and could pull out my rifle and…well, you get the point (If you haven’t noticed, I may or may not have some aggression I need to work out).

Now, I’m aware this isn’t Christ-like, but I hope you realize that’s precisely my point. It’s my vice. Not one I accept, but one I struggle with daily. I want to learn from each story I tell.

I can't help it. I just could not resist.

I usually forget to put myself in the shoes of the person asking — or strap on the wings of the squawker (feel free to judge my metaphor). Instead I blurt out, “Did you really just ask that?” Or I wonder, “What in your mind tells you that’s alright to say?”

But, most often, I just stare and relish in the awkward silence that inevitably follows. The realization of what they said passes across their face, and I take a moment to enjoy.

Of course, I ignore my own dumb questions. They never happened. I always ask well-thought-out, thought-provoking questions. That’s how the story line reads in my memory anyway. Convenient, isn’t it?

In my arrogance, I think I’m better. “Well, if they were smarter and more aware, they wouldn’t say that or ask those questions.”

“Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”                                                                              — Gen. 1:26-27                   

Wait…then did I just call God stupid?


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