Moving on…

So many people want to give you advice about how to move on after a death. You have to love that they care. But if one more person asks you how you’re doing…you may explode.

It’s funny how if it’s the right person, it’s okay. Where in our brains or in our hearts do we figure out who to get annoyed with? What triggers it?

One person can ask the same question your best friend asks. But if you don’t feel they have the right to ask it, the question turns you cold.

You don’t know. You just know it hurts one day, one moment when you don’t expect it. Those tears come to your eyes before you even know why.

You have moments where you’re laughing. Then the next a tear falls. Memories become so powerful — a single action invokes a thought from long ago, from your childhood or of a recent birthday.

Grief is like a dreaded mother-in-law who shows up when you least expect it to make your life as difficult as she can.

Naive individuals say it’s helpful, it’s a part of life.

You shudder at those people and wonder when the mother-in-law will strike in their house. You know they won’t think it’s helpful then.

Sometimes family or friends stand near to fight the grief with you. Sometimes you’re alone. But no matter what, only one person provides true comfort. One who has experienced more suffering than you could ever dream of.

You remind yourself of this every day. You tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way — to cry without realizing why. You have family and friends who want to help and a Heavenly Father who can help.”

You wait for this to sink in. And day by day it does.

Expect to cry. Expect to laugh. But don’t expect to predict which will happen in a moment. Just keep breathing. Just keep reminding yourself of what you have left. Their presence and his are everything.


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