Michael and I ventured down to Houston/College Station this past week to be a part of my best friend’s wedding and to visit our favorite church in Houston, Impact. The wedding was great, and everyone left happy! We enjoyed celebrating with these friends. Then it was a strange feeling to drive through Houston again and to walk into Impact as a non-employee. There were some awkward moments of people not knowing how to handle us being there again, but seeing all my kids doing so well made me extremely proud. It was like being at home again.
I’ve never left a church before where I served as a minister. I have heard other ministers talk about how hard it is to leave your first church. I agree; I think it was even harder since Impact is a place that will always hold such a deep meaning to me and to Michael. We met at Impact, and we were formed as ministers there. We have friends there who will always feel more like family to us no matter where we are.
I say all that to say there was some anxiety for me to leave my kids at Impact all over again. But everyone seemed happy, and everything was rolling along fine without me. This realization is a bitterly sweet feeling. The selfish part of me still wanted to be needed. I’m doing my best to fight off those sad feelings and remembering the words of people and ministers that I left the ministry in a place better than when I started. And I cling to an important and beautiful reality – there were people to fill my role at Impact. I’m going to a place where there aren’t people to replace Michael or to fill the role I can provide. We are needed at Breaking Chains, and there are precious souls awaiting our arrival.
I will always cherish the hugs and love that I get every time we return to visit the place so influential to who we are. Impact is a part of who we have become, and we will always consider it one of our homes.