Indefinitely. Such an ominous word these days, isn’t it? People give it almost a wishy-washy connotation.
Sometimes I feel like people give us disapproving eyes when they ask us about our length of commitment in Honduras, and we say, “We’ll be there indefinitely.” Maybe they’re thinking, “Oh, you’re very hip about your I-don’t-want-to-commit-to-anything reality but calling it indefinitely.”
Or in reality they’re thinking (in a Jim Gaffigan voice, of course), “How could you do that to your parents, the people who raised and sacrificed for you, you ungrateful…?!”
In our defense, it’s better than “for good” in the eyes of our mothers, and that’s the most important part. So, we are thinking of our parents, I promise.
And also indefinitely sounds better than: “Uhhh, we don’t know,” which is really the truth. We have no idea. Who knows what will happen there or back home, how long we will be needed or whether whatever-amount will ever feel like enough.
But still indefinitely is scary. After all, it’s a word implying no clear end. This seems to make fundraising a struggle, or at least more stressful in my mind. We feel the pressure of providing for an unknown amount of years. And I worry people get nervous about committing to give to us because indefinitely is like a dirty word. The word just seems to give people anxiety and brings out a teenage-esque fear of commitment or something. No matter how many times you say – “We understand if you have to stop giving; that’s why it’s indefinitely, meaning until you can’t” – people still seem to get shifty eyes.
Or I could be insane, and its in my head. Really God’s just saying…
“Chill out. You’re the one with the nervous eyes, child. Be still. I am your almighty, omnipotent God. I am the Alpha and Omega – indefinitely means everything and nothing to me.”
So far we haven’t had any commitments under our ‘Fifty for 50‘ campaign,” which may or may not be – now I have shifty eyes – why indefinitely has spooked me a bit. Please help us pray for churches, groups or individual commitments to start coming in. And pray we find peace and have faith in the Alpha and Omega who knows, sees and feels all.