Only the prince brings peace

John laughs and shakes his head at me often about my lack of awareness of the news. I used to keep up with it pretty well, and I liked it – after all I have a degree in journalism. But I have found myself changing – running away from it sometimes as well as scary movies and gore on TV since I moved to Honduras.

I find the reality or lack of peace in the world so depressing. Satan has so much of the world in darkness – in hunger, in war, without clean water, deep into drugs, enveloped in disease. Sometimes the pain in our neck of the woods alone overwhelms me that I ignore what’s happening outside of Honduras. Otherwise, I’m not sure I could get out of bed if I didn’t focus on our own neck of darkness.

We hear a lot of names thrown around for God for various situations that claim to bring comfort – the Deliverer, the Almighty, Holy Ghost, Messiah, Christ, Abba Father, Holy One. But one of the often forgotten names is the Prince of Peace.

Not everyone likes this one as much of course. I can’t have road rage if I really follow the Prince of Peace. I can’t worry about everything if I follow the Prince of Peace. I can’t start fights with family members if I believe in the Prince of Peace. I can’t yell at that mom for her inability to take care of her children if I really want to emulate the Price of Peace. I can’t…I can’t…wow, there’s a lot of stuff that truly fall short of the Prince of Peace.

But what if we really emulated the Prince of Peace in this world? What if I really did? Such a feat takes a lot of humility. And I for one could use a deep dose of humility every day.

 

How truly great

http://vimeo.com/63300324

When my faith shakes, I find myself forgetting. But God sends reminders thankfully. A kiss on the cheek comes from one of our kids or a loud crack of Honduran thunder hits a stormy sky, and I remember how truly great the Alpha and the Omega is.

And I thank him for his reminders. They bring me the peace and reverence I need.

Finding a relationship with God

Yovany during one of our church services

We have started every Sunday morning taking kids up to the Peace Monument, not far from the stadium and our building. You can see city’s skyline, and the kids get a chance for quiet reflection with God for us and the kids. The kids aren’t required to go, but we allow whoever wants to join us to hop in the car alongside us and to head up to a quiet place for a few hours up above the city.

The kids can write in notebooks, have prayer time or just sit in silence with our God. Most of the kids spend a little or a lot of time writing. They can write anything they want.

One of our teens Yovany has decided to write us the story of his life and relationship with God. This is the first entry:

“This is the story of a boy named Yovany. He was a lonely person because no one wanted him. There was only one person that loved him and that was God. But he didn’t know that.

He suffered for 12 years on the street without food, somewhere to sleep or somewhere to bathe. He thought, ‘It would be better for me to die than living like this.’

But God put in front of him a path that would change his life. And even though so many things were pointing down that path he didn’t want to take it. Then another person came along named Jose de la Cruz. And he took that boy to meet some other people. But at that time he thought, “These people are going to mistreat me.”

But his friend said, ‘Don’t be afraid. They will help you.’ So, Yovany went and there he met Mami Amber and Michael and Courtney. This is a story of a boy who didn’t believe in God, and God changed his life.”

God can do incredible work through even the most unlikely of people. Many of you remember Jose de la Cruz was one of our boys who was murdered last summer. He left an imprint on our hearts and apparently on others we weren’t even aware of.

I hope God is patting Jose de la Cruz on the back now and saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Finding hope when there is little

I’m sorry to make you wait for an update on the kids, but there haven’t been many changes. Neither Amber nor I have seen the kids for three weeks now.

The first week consisted of hope and heartbreak – several attempted visits only to be told and (even yelled at) that we weren’t family. We needed special permission from the judge to see the kids. A judge with little interest in talking to us ever again.

The judge’s office gave us the sentencing paperwork this week. This consisted of a packet of everyone’s statements since this all began in August and an explanation of where we go from here.

This packet gave us a chance to see the statements of the social worker, the kids, Belkis and one of Belkis’ grown sons who went with her to speak with the judge. With the exception of Belkis’ older son, each statement had positive remarks about our ministry, Amber and me. Even Belkis said only good things.

Each of the kids said sweet, loving things about Amber and me—about how well they were taken care of and how much we love them.

Reading the statements confused us even more. We truly don’t understand the judge’s reasoning. We miss the kids even more after reading their words of love. But it comforts me knowing they know without a doubt how much we love them. They feel safe with us and knew we were the best place for them.

As of last weekend, the mother wants the kids to be with us and agreed to work with us. Unfortunately, she read the sentencing papers (and Amber’s words after her episode in August) today and had a fit. She’s blaming Amber for the kids being in a center, even though she was the one who said it would be better. She has a history of forgetting her fault in situations.

We’re praying after further conversation she will return to her previous attitude. But it’s very difficult to know which Belkis each day will bring.

We are in the process of finding a lawyer and the funds for one. We have had one recommended and will be in contact with her this week. We have been told if we appear united, between Belkis and us, we have a much greater chance of getting the kids back.

So, we ask your prayers for God to continue to work on Belkis’ heart. She loves her kids in the only way she knows how but is consistently shown us she is unstable and unreliable. And also pray the judge’s eyes are open and see we are serious about doing what’s best for the kids.

If you missed some of this story and for continued updates, go to our blog at bchonduras.wordpress.com or keep checking mine here. This is a slow process with a lot of ups and downs.

Please keep remembering Amber and I in your prayers as we miss our babies terribly. We have nearly become numb to the situation to avoid breaking down everyday. We are seeking peace in the arms of God and pouring ourselves into our ministry and our teens at Breaking Chains. But we are struggling. We are angry and terribly confused.

Thank you for every encouraging prayer and word you have already shared. We are moved by your honest desire to take care of us and our kids.

We have hope in our God for he loves our wonderful kids more than we do.

Searching for God…

When something beyond painful happens, you wonder where God is in it all. I’m still searching.

Dayana and Rosie

After a terrible visit with Belkis a few days ago, we contacted the social worker about where we stood with the kids. The judge told us to bring the kids in. We picked Pamela, Arol, Jonatan and Dayana up early from school. Then we picked up Courtney, Amber and Rosie from the building.

When we arrived at the judge’s office, Belkis was already waiting. We don’t know if she just showed up or if the office called her. (She has gone often recently to this office to complain about how we’re “stealing her children.”)

The kids didn’t know what to do. Belkis was in a mood and passing out “guilt trips” to each child. To her defense I’m sure she misses them and doesn’t know how to express that, but it was hard to make myself remember that.

We sat with the kids on another floor for hours, while Amber and Belkis waited and then finally spoke with the judge.

Someone finally came to bring us upstairs. The kids went to speak with the judge’s staff. Arol came out first. He smiled, and I asked how it went. He said, “They asked me if I wanted to be with you or my mom. I said you.” He sighed and gave off a general sense of confidence – “That was that.”

The other kids followed smiling except for Dayana. She stayed inside, confused, troubled and acting out as a result of this horrible mess. Finally Amber came out and said we were going to lunch. She had tears in her eyes.

For the first time since this process began, my confidence felt shaken. I was scared.

From the driver’s side, Amber continued to fight look losing it. As I held Dayana as she sobbed, I asked what happened.

“They’re taking them to IHNFA,” she said.

Pamela (left) with Nayeli from the building

Easily the worst five words I have ever heard. IHNFA is the child services of Honduras. In other words, the judge thought the best thing for the kids was to rip them from the only people with whom they had ever felt safe.

As we ate, she explained it wasn’t for sure yet. We were supposed to get the decision when went back after lunch. I couldn’t believe someone could look at our situation and think we weren’t right for the kids.

Jonatan, Dayana and me

The judge had told Amber and Belkis if they couldn’t work out a visitation schedule and a way to get along, she would send the kids to IHNFA. Amber said,in any way she could, she was willing to do anything.

Belkis said, “Send them to IHNFA – that’s better.”

We think she believed she would see them more that way. When in reality, it will be the same, probably worse. And clearly, this isn’t the best situation for the kids.

Courtney with Dayana

When we got back to the office, the judge was gone. We thought Amber would be able to discuss it more with her. But she had left her decision with an aid. We prayed this meant she changed her mind. We waited for a few more hours. The kids kept asking what was happening. All I could say – “I don’t know.”

A guard came for the kids, while Amber and Belkis waited upstairs for the judge’s ruling. We walked out of the playroom toward the stairs. A man said, “just the kids for now.”

The man was a representative from IHNFA. He didn’t even give us a chance for hugs or explanations. He just took our kids and shoved them into a car in a parking garage upstairs. I can’t even imagine how the kids felt.

Once I realized what had happened, I couldn’t breath. Corey, Courtney and Darwin began to cry around me. I felt against the wall and imagined how unbelievably scared each of the kids probably felt.

To say we are all devastated would be too simple. To say we’re angry and confused would at least be closer.

We’re going on Monday with a lawyer friend of ours from IHNFA to try to get visitation from the judge. The kids don’t have even one change of clothes. We know what center they’re in, and we’re praying we can get some sort of regular visitation.

Arol with his teacher Miss Nadia

This isn’t the last word. The judge will make her final decision in a few weeks; unfortunately we didn’t get an understanding judge. But we know we have many people on our side.

The owner of Interamerican wants to come to fight with us to keep the kids in their school, at the very least. Several of the teachers have family members or friends in IHNFA.

We’re angry. We’re worried. We are hurting indescribably, crying out to God for answers. But someone is hurting more. Someone is more angry. Someone is crying more for these kids. Our God loves these kids more than me or Amber or any of the rest of our team. We know he is working through countless people to help these little babies.

I’m searching desperately for God in all of this because I know he’s there. My God is omnipotent, and this isn’t the end.

Please pray our wavering faith – that we remember his omnipotent love.

Please pray for our precious kids Arol, Rosie, Pamela, Jonatan and Dayana.

And for Belkis to have a change of heart. God loves his daughter Belkis just as much as all of us. Please pray he opens her heart to see what’s truly best for her little ones.

We need your prayers desperately. Please drop to your knees with us as we beg our omnipotent God for the best solution in all this chaos.

My life now…

I lay with an eight-year-old boy sleeping against my back, a 10-year-old snoring in his bunk bed above, a six-year-old conked out with her legs thrown across mine and a 13-year-old chatting away outside the room. I looked above and laughed, “God, you have an interesting way of giving fulfillment, and also I feel like you’re laughing right now.”

I had just finished reading Thomas the Tank Engine…for maybe the 10th time this week. After a supposed ghost sighting, I promised the boys Dayana and I would stay in their room until they fell asleep. Within 10 minutes they all drifted away. But I stayed awake thinking how much our lives had changed.

Arol, the oldest boy, and I at his school festival

Our Breaking Chains team made a tough decision six weeks ago. After acts of violence to a few teenagers, her children and Amber, one of our residents Belkis had to be removed from our mission house. This single mom never learned how to handle anger or how to be a mother from years of living on the streets, prostitution and abuse from a variety of friends and family.

We saw Belkis become violent to other residents but particular to her children, and we knew it had to stop. We positioned for custody of Pamela, Arol, Jonatan, Dayana and Rosie. The three older kids told our social worker they wanted to live with us and continue to go to school. Dayana struggled to know what to do as a confused six-year-old girl, while Rosie of course wants to be with her mom, Amber. The social worker gave us temporary custody until a judge can hear our case and makes a ruling.

So, we wait for a phone call and attempt to give these kids stability among instability. Rosie lives with Amber at the building like she has for months, and the other four live with me at our house in Las Uvas. Courtney has stayed for a month now and has helped immeasurably with the four.

Jonatan, the youngest brother, and I on the front porch

Dayana and Arol are in counseling to work on behavioral issues and anger management (for lack of a better term). Jonatan will likely start next week, but we’re still looking for funding to start Pamela in counseling. The kids have experienced trauma we don’t understand. We’re hoping counseling will help them through some of this and give us some relief with behavioral issues.

We are trying to stay in contact with Belkis. The kids had a supervised visit with her last Sunday, and we’re hoping to make this a regular occurrence.

We don’t know what the future looks like exactly, but the lack of urgency from the judge gives us a reason to believe the kids will end up in our custody. From there we will decide what’s best for the kids and what they all want.

The three older kids said they would rather live in a children’s home than with their mother. But we’re exploring other options as well. For now we’re waiting for an answer from the judge before we make any commitments or decisions.

Pamela, the oldest, at our 2011 Amapala Christmas trip

I’m the primary caregiver for Pamela, Jonatan, Arol and Dayana. Amber has given me relief with Dayana and Pamela, and Corey watches the boys when he can. Courtney has been wonderful during her visit, more than I can express. Darwin is always willing to lend a hand, watching the kids sometimes after school or in the evenings. This is a team effort, for sure.

Our ministry is taking on the added financial responsibilities of these kids – the biggest cost being food for four growing kids. If you can we would appreciate any donations in this area. We’re taking on a major cost for which we weren’t prepared for.

Most importantly, please pray for these five sweet hearts and for us over the coming months. Many decisions are coming. And pray for Belkis as we search for the best way to help her too.

God has blessed the kids and us with loads of people, many they barely know at all, who love them and want to show them the purest love around. These kids have escaped a physically and verbally abusive environment. Although they still act out and they miss their mom, they see God’s unconditional love in all of us. As a result they’re where they want to be, slowly but surely improving.

I’m fairly certain God’s laughing at us as we stumble through this new, bizarre land. But I know he’s walking alongside us, holding our hands through a variety of incredible people. God is pretty amazing, indeed.

Dayana, the littlest of the four, and me

Help lead these kids out of poverty

Arol enjoying our Amapala trip

Our BC team prays our kids will have a monumental year in 2012. They each get the chance to retreat to a great school away from the chaos that their young lives have become. They will start at Corey’s school, a local bilingual school, in February. We are excited to see how it will affect each child and their future.

Arol started at a transition school this past month to help him catch up so that he can start second grade at Interamerican School next month.

We have seen Arol change since he began school. He’s had some behavior issues in the past, and we wondered how he would handle a completely foreign culture to him, those with money. But now he’s so much happier and better behaved around us. And he’s barely even begun his education.

Ornery, little 5-year-old Dayana

Arol still struggles with getting used to this strange environment and foreign language, but he loves it and the time away from life at a homeless shelter. I can’t wait to see what’s next for him, and I thank God for this precious change in this sweet boy. Please pray he succeeds in school and continues down this bright road.

Thankfully, God has already provided a generous family to support Arol’s education. But Dayana, Jonatan and Escarleth need your help too. For three of these remaining kids to attend school, we need sponsorships for each of them.

Loyal, 6-year-old Jonatan

Each child needs $50 per month for transportation, food and field trips. Then they each need $500 one-time for books, school supplies, uniform, etc. We know it sounds like a lot, but any donation helps their futures.

However much you can give, even just $20 one time, will go along way toward helping provide for Escarleth, Jonatan and Dayana’s education. You can sponsor them monthly or help with a part or all of their one-time needs.

If you wish to help, email me at michael@bchonduras.org or my partner in crime at corey@bchonduras.org. Look for profiles for Escarleth, Jonatan and Dayana on our BC blog and here to learn more about each of these great kids. Thank you for loving our wonderful kids and leading them out of the cycle of poverty.

Sweet, 8-year-old Escarleth

A blessed Christmas and New Year’s…

“I have never felt more relaxed,” our friend Belkis said. She sat looking at a calm beach and her children playing. “Before I came here, I was so stressed. Now, my back doesn’t hurt any more; my feet don’t hurt any more. I’m so relaxed. Thank you.”

Belkis accompanied our team and nearly 40 others living in our building to the beach for our Christmas celebration. Many of our BC friends said this Christmas was the best they had ever experienced. I heard countless thank-you’s from smiling faces who just opened their presents, who just swam in the ocean or had just enjoyed a relaxing nap away from the problems at home.

We left the Monday after Christmas and spent the next two days in Amapala enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of the beach. We couldn’t have asked for a better time.

We ate, we laughed, we played, we swam and we opened presents. We had everyone sit in a circle with one chair in the middle. We picked out a gift and called out who it was for, and then that person came to the middle to open their gift. Each time we would call a name, the rest of the circle would cheer for that child or adult.

Thirty-nine of our friends opened gifts for themselves with two mommies opening presents for their babies as well. We also gave small gifts to the family we paid to cook four meals for all 45 of us. All in all, forty-five people opened a total of 125 packages, leaving sheets of gift wrap covering an 8×8 portion of the beach.

Together we enjoyed the sun on a beautiful beach in the shadow of the mountains of El Salvador and Nicaragua. We expected all of this fun to be a part of the trip, but the results were much more than just those.

We created a family while at the beach, cemented friendships and built new ones. Families and teens, who rarely interacted with each other except when they had to, now laugh together, now speak to one another.When you’re talking about any group of people, that’s special. But when you’re talking about a group of once homeless people, that’s a miracle. God created bonds on that beach, and we pray it will lead to fewer arguments in 2012.

We are all beyond grateful to all of you for making this trip happen. You blessed lives in ways you will never know and in ways we never saw coming. You gave a vacation to parents who needed it, and you provided a family and a special Christmas to many kids who have never known either. Thank you for blessing our Christmas and kick-starting a better new year.

Many blessings to all of you in 2012! You also helped us take our friends to the Tegucigalpa Carnival on New Year’s Eve. We had money left over from Christmas, and we wanted to celebrate the new year together! So, you helped in more ways than just Christmas! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

To see the full album of photos, visit us on Facebook. We have over 400 pictures of our fun times at the beach.